Strange Solace

I booked myself a night in the hotel. Well, I thought if it was potentially going to be my last night of having a sound(ish) mind I wanted to enjoy it.

The hotel felt too grand and stylish for me. I thought I’d enjoy the view of Cader Idris. It looked so picturesque in the postcard but somehow it felt like it was looming in the distance.

Okay, I admit it. I was scared.

But I was also desperate. 

I was willing to try anything. Even risk my sanity, well what sanity I had left.

 I was blocked. I fashioned myself as a poet and my debut collection was received to critical acclaim.

The deadline for my second collection had come around too quick and whistled past me into the deep distance. The latter part of it I spent at the bottom of a wine glass.

There was only so long my editor would buy the ‘sensitive artist’ type excuses, how the ‘muse was evading me’.

I just couldn’t seem to grasp onto the words which has flowed so easily the first time around. I had to do something, anything.

I don’t know why I picked up the postcard in the antique shop. Something about it called to me, I guess. I typed the names on the front into the search engine out of pure boredom. 

I imagined up writing retreats I’d go on if I had the money. And that fancy hotel at the end of the road almost floating on the estuary, with views over those hills looked like somewhere inspiration would find me.

But I digress. The reason I am here, spending money I don’t have on a fancy hotel is because of that mountain in the postcard. I am here for the test of courage. I must be out of my mind.

The search engine informed me is a legend associated with Cader Idris. It is said that the mountain is inhabited by spirits or faeries. And if you spend a night there they will bestow you with either a gift or a curse.

You could either have a peaceful night sleep or a vivid an intense dream where your deepest fears manifest.

According to the legend if you get the peaceful option you will wake up blessed with creativity and become a great poet. 

But if the mountain spirits decide to curse you, you wake up terrified and insane. Frankly, it’s a risk I am willing to take. 

If you find this note, don’t come looking. 

It was the second option.

Copyright: Watercolour by Brian Gerald. Used here for creative, non-commercial purposes. Commercial postcard of Coes Fen and Cader Idris, Barnmouth. Valentine & Sons Ltd.